Indies With Undies

DEAR READERS, WRITERS, and people who stumbled upon this blog because of its most popular post ever (“You Can’t Shave a Vagina”):

I am proud to be an Indie Author, and Indie Pride Day is July 1st. What happens on Indie Pride Day? Look, I made a pretty poster to tell you all about it, and there are no vaginas in sight:
Indie Books Be Seen posterA friend asked me today: what is an Indie Author? My definition of an Indie Author is either a self-published author (one who publishes directly, through Amazon and other online outlets), or an author who publishes through a small “independent” publishing house.

Indies are the folks who refuse to submit query after query for months or years to try to get a literary agent. Having an agent is a necessity if you want a book to even be considered by an editor at the big publishing houses.

Here’s a rough timeline of the way publishing used to work for most authors, when it did work, before indie publishing. It still works this way for the vast majority of authors who don’t want to be indies:

  1. Author writes book (3 months to 10 years).
  2. Author queries agents (could take years to get one, or never, no matter how good your book is, since agents only accept books that they like and that they think they can sell to publishers — whose customers are actually bookstores, not readers).
  3. Author gets agent (woo-hoo!) or doesn’t (boo-hoo!)
  4. Lucky Author spends book’s imagined first six month’s royalties on big party! (This is just a guess. It’s what I would do. I would hire a pony and a bouncy castle and Kylie Minogue to sing her old “Lucky” song, but no clowns. Sure, I have issues about never having a real birthday party as a kid. How did you guess?) Unlucky Author repeats steps 1 and 2 until the end of time.
  5. Agent sends out feelers to publishers on Lucky Author’s behalf (could also take years, with no guarantee of success, and involves sending out a few chapters, waiting months, sending out full manuscript, waiting more months…)
  6. Lucky Author gets publishing contract (which probably gives at most 25% of sales price as royalties to Author, and contains clauses that effectively turn Author into an indentured servant of the publisher).* Unlucky Author repeats steps 1-5 until the end of time.
  7. Lucky Author waits another year or more for book to come out, and has virtually NO SAY in what the cover looks like or even what the final title of the book will be.
  8. Publisher doesn’t promote it.
  9. Book dies death of old age and neglect.
  10. Agent, who got 15% of Author’s advance and then nothing, refuses to answer Author’s calls, emails, text messages, and threats written in blood on sidewalk in front of Agent’s house.
  11. Restraining order.
  12. Prison.
  13. What happens in prison stays in prison, until Lucky Author writes memoir and repeats steps 1-12. Unlucky Author dies in prison.

It’s no wonder that hundreds of thousands of authors — fabulous, good, mediocre, bad and horrible horrible horrible authors — have jumped at the chance to publish directly and let customers decide whether or not they like a book. I can’t think of another industry where entrepreneurship is so looked down upon. Say you are a fabulous (or horrible horrible horrible) cook. You are free to open up a restaurant anywhere you want, and your patrons will decide if your food is good.

Many Indies have found that books they cooked up, books that were rejected for years by agents and publishers, are being gobbled up by readers. Some of those books have become bestsellers and are even being made into feature films. Others struggle to get a foothold and to make even a few sales. Sure, Indie publishing is hard and not for the faint of heart and if you want to succeed, having a good book is not enough — you have to pull up your big girl panties and market the sucker. And you have to publish another book. And another. And market those suckers, too.

As for me, I’m still shopping for those big girl panties. I truly believe that someday I will be an Indie With Undies.

So for Indie Pride Day, I hope you Indies With Undies out there will do what it says on the poster. And as for you readers: Do you have a favorite Indie-published book? Then please take a pic of yourself holding it up, and post it with pride on social media on July 1st, with the hashtag #IndieBooksBeSeen.

Clothing is NOT optional.

As for the rest of you, I’m pretty sure you’re gone by now or have jumped directly to learning why you can’t shave a vagina. And I hope you’re proud of yourselves.

* In all seriousness, do check out this post on the subject by bestselling author Dean Wesley Smith.

12 Comments

Filed under Blogging under the Influence, Indie Author Appreciation Day

My spin on the future: Kindle dystopian, 99 cents US & UK–

Lindy Moone:

Get it while it’s a bargain! One of my favorite sci-fi novels of recent years!

Originally posted on Carol Ervin's Author Site:

Dell is a girl who grows up on a remote outpost with herders (her guardians) who may or may not be her parents. They seldom speak or tell her anything, because the mandatory drugs that make them immortal and committed to duty also keep them quiet and forgetful. She has always been on her own to learn, and she’s become literate through the outpost’s telecommunications with its farm. But officially, Dell does not exist. She has no number, no portacath for drugs and no communications wristscreen. She is different in another way: she’s young, an aberration in a loveless world where the only creatures that breed are animals and primitive tribes considered outlaws. And now her guardians are being separated, and she must leave her home and find a place to belong. dell-zero-ebook

Dell Zero will be 99 cents today and four more days (Kindle ebook). Grab a copy and let me know what you think about its future world.

View original

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Reasons to Type Faster!

Greetings from The Voice of Doom!
Remember the old story from Isaac Asimov?

I was once being interviewed by Barbara Walters… In between two of the segments she asked me… “But what would you do if the doctor gave you only six months to live?” I said, “Type faster.”

Well, then: You probably know all about these two good reasons to stay indoors and type faster:
Lamprey Lampetra_camtschaticaArctic lampreys falling from the sky, and

Super Volcano gets Supersized.

I mean, people, we already knew that when it blows, civilization as we know it will end. Now they say the new magma chamber they’ve found could fill the Grand Canyon 11 times! So what the world needs now is more Paranormal Romance! Chick Lit! YAAAAAAAAAA !!!!

The Voice of Doom wants more bad news, more reasons to type faster.

Whaddya got?

4 Comments

Filed under Blogging under the Influence, General Mumblings, Why I Write

A wrong cover and a revamp – case study of rebranding an indie novel

Lindy Moone:

Listen to Roz.

Originally posted on Nail Your Novel:

bookshop 12 april 023 smlYou know my bookseller friend Peter Snell, of Barton’s in Leatherhead? (He’s the co-host of our Surrey Hills Radio show So You Want To be A Writer.) Peter is a staunch supporter of indie authors, and he mentioned to me that he’d been talking to an indie writer I know who wanted advice on revamping her novel cover.

Oh you mean Alison Ripley Cubitt, I said. Her science fiction novel?

It’s not science fiction, said Peter. It’s a contemporary eco-thriller.

And therein lay Alison’s biggest problem.

So how did she end up with a cover that sent the wrong message? How was she persuaded to change it – because she’d made that choice for a good reason. And what did she change it to?

I thought this would make a useful case study. Publishers often rebrand covers if they keep a title in print a long time, and…

View original 1,067 more words

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Release day: good luck, baby!

Lindy Moone:

Carol’s new book is a real winner. Just out today, and heartily recommended!

Originally posted on Carol Ervin's Author Site:

Ridgetop.banner.425x157Because Ridgetop is my fifth book, I’ve a lot less stage fright with this launch. I already know some people will love it and want more and others won’t like it (and may throw rotten tomatoes.) What matters is that I love creating characters and stories, and it turns out that putting my work on stage like this is not a total waste of time. Ridgetop is now available at Amazon.com as ebook ($2.99) and paperback ($14.99).

View original

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Cannes finally outlaws short actors

Originally posted on Flibbertigibbet News:

In what is seen as a crackdown on diminutive talent, the 2015 Film Festival has insisted that all women wear heels on the red carpet and that pint-sized men ‘must bring their own pogo stick’. Commentators agree that gone is the Golden Era of Hollywood, when Mickey Rooney could demand to be placed on plinth and his co-stars were forced to saw their own legs off ‘at the knee’.  

So what if you have bunions So what if you have bunions

There is evidence many film scripts have been doctored to accommodate miniature casts; Ewoks were once Wookies, ‘The Hobbit’ originally featured the Jolly Green Giant and ‘Little Women’ was about an all-female basketball team. Responding to public pressure, Cannes has attempted to remove undersized actors with oversized egos; focusing on underrated but vertically-blessed performers such as David Prowse, King Kong and ‘that woman who holds the torch for Columbia Pictures’.

Cannes insisted that it was…

View original 104 more words

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Why authors should never comment on negative reviews of their own books

Lindy Moone:

I give this five stars, and a reblog…!

Originally posted on Thought Scratchings:

6a00d834515ae969e2017c35817072970bYou’ve written a book. It’s been published. Your agent told you that he/she has never read a book like it. Your publisher has told you that your voice is entirely unique. The quotes from celebrities on the front cover of your book reinforce this sense of untouchable brilliance. The first fifty amazon reviews have flooded in from industry people who are encouraged to display kindness. Traction begins…but all of these opinions are inherently biased.

Then comes the first negative review from Jeremy, from Hounslow. Your brain immediately reacts by telling you that Jeremy must be mentally ill. Then you decide he must be a troll. (Because you’ve convinced yourself that you are so special, that there are people alive who spend their free time attacking your books, hoping you say something, because that’s how you think they think they will get famous. Even though nobody read your last novel.) So…

View original 1,179 more words

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized