Zee Best Procrastination, Ever

Mon Dieux, I ‘ave found eet! Zee best procrastination ever!

I ‘ave, just zis very morNING, begun zee new proJE: to read “Zee Three Musketeers” with zee bad, zee worst, zee most ‘orrible French accent… een my ‘ead.

Ok. That’s enough of that. Yes, reading The Three Musketeers in a bad French accent is fun, and will certainly while away the procrastination hours in snickering style, but…

Why am I procrastinating, again? I can’t help it. It seems to me that there are two kinds of people:

1. People who procrastinate all the time and seldom get anything done, and

2. People who procrastinate all the time and never get anything done.

If  the following people: (3. People who get lots of things done) actually exist, I:

1. Hate them, and

2. Wish they’d go away, because they make the rest of us look bad.

So, the only thing left is to get another cup of coffee and make a top ten list of things to do while procrastinating, leaving off my actual top ten. These include such mundane activities as reading other bloggers’ posts about procrastination, and thinking about dust bunnies, and having the vapors just from thinking about dust bunnies, and “Is that pimple on my nose really cancer?”, and watching Buffy and Angel reruns, and watching “Eureka” out of sequence — which is really f&ck&ng confusing, I have to say, and confusion is a pretty good excuse for hot naked yoga.

Are you confused, yet? No? I’ll try harder, while you limber up. If I get around to it.

Here’s a thought: what if I made a “Top Ten List of Things to Do while Procrastinating”, and wrote in all the real “to do list” stuff, like:

1. Finish In(s)ane Mysteries two and three in my “After Ward” Series

2. Finish “The Boy with No Nose” series of children’s stories, and illustrate them

3. Finish something, anything, that isn’t a blog entry.

or maybe I should just:

4. Move to Finland, and f&ck 5 – 10.

What about you? What’s your favorite thing to do while procrastinating? Wait. Don’t tell me. You’re doing it. I’m so flattered. Maybe you should move to Finland with me.

Someday. Someday soon. Eventually.

But who’d take care of the dust bunnies?


7 responses

  1. Freaky freaky. Here’s an important question: is procrastinating better than obsessing? Votes, please.

  2. Carol, for me, procrastination is better than obsessing, because while I’m procrastinating about writing, the laundry gets done, but if I’m procrastinating about laundry, the gardening gets done, and so on. So things do eventually get done, which is why I really should be procrastinating about cleaning under the kitchen cabinets when I want to write. When I’m obsessing, nothing gets done but obsessing, which is actually never done.

    Pretty sure what I just wrote makes no sense (like obsessing).

    What about you? Procrastination or obsession? While you think about it, I’ll procrastinate about hot naked yoga (and make the bed).

  3. Elisa Lindenmayer | Reply

    Finland? Why? Is it the land of extremely successful procrastinators? Or was it that bed you slept in oh so many years ago that calls to you?

    1. Ah, yes, my first memory of memory foam! You know me too well. Actually, it’s much more simple-minded: Finish this… finish that… Finnish… ohhhh, Finland! (I did wonder if anyone would notice.)

  4. I think writing about procrastination is the ultimate form of procrastination. I see it turning into a mobius strip sort of thing, with words.

    1. Or thinking about writing about procrastination, but not getting around to it, could be the ultimate. Or, having written about procrastination, an infinite number of comments could do the trick….

      Guess you’re right about the mobius strip! Let’s go make some out of colored paper…

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