“Halliburton fails to extinguish pants”

Enjoy these flaming “pants”, brought to you by Flibbertigibbet’s “Wrenfoe” — satirist to the stars (or at least to former U.S. vice-presidents). Wrenfoe is British. His “pants” are baggy briefs, not boxers…

Flibbertigibbet News

Eyewitnesses attest to seeing burning underwear off the Mississippi coast, as oil executives frantically set fire to any evidence pertaining to their role in the Deepwater Horizon disaster. The toxic waste generated by the y-fronts of former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney alone, have caused dark clouds across the whole of America.

It has been three years since the oil gusher was capped, but there is still a distinctly “whiffy” smell emanating from the Gulf of Mexico. No stranger to ethical misconduct, Halliburton and its subsidiaries have paid over $1b in out of court settlements to hush up bribery and corruption accusations. Strangely, however, they have been less than eager to send financial help to the thousands of individuals affected by the oil spill. Despite recording profits in the billions, Halliburton has only voluntarily paid 0.6% of the equivalent damages paid by BP and Transocean. A spokesman for the company…

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