NaNoWriMo and Dino Porn (probably) Suck!

Something is going on, and it isn’t pretty. Make that two things. Two nasty, filthy things.

Oh, no! NANOWRIMO!

Indie Authors go into writing despair mode from time to time, usually right before National Novel Writing Month. Why? Because NaNoWriMo has potential for great good, but also for great evil — like Superman on Red Kryptonite.

All year long, we Indies have been positive whirlwinds, with every last element of our writing careers on our own shoulders (plus others’ career’s, too, because, hey, we’re trying to be supportive and protective, like push-up bras and jock straps for our collective sagging egos). And now, to reward ourselves: let’s write a whole frakking novel in a month already chock-full of Thanksgiving and holiday shopping!

Or we could stop being so hard on ourselves. We are amazing. But we are not super-human.

I get that some of us came late to the novel-writing party. We want to use our remaining Earth-years fruitfully, and NaNoWriMo seems like a great jump-start. But nature itself rests for months; it doesn’t take one weekend off — say, the last week in December, and then start pushing up healthy shoots.

We should give ourselves time; we have accomplished so much! And even if NaNoWriMo is a good idea, who’s to say that our NaNoWriMo must be November? Pick another month, if need be. January? February? We can rename the month of our choosing “MyNoWriMo.”

I think I’ll spend November making up alternate universe acronyms:

NaNoWriMo…NoMo! (National Novel Writing Month… No More!) or NaNoWriMo…OWri (This sounds like the Irish version to me, and stands for: National Novel Writers’ Moratorium On Writing.) Add the “N” and it becomes a sandwich: NaNoWriMo…OnWri. 

Maybe the problem’s not November, anyway. Maybe we need to reexamine why we are writing our dystopian / speculative / historical / romance. Is it because we love the genre/s, and can’t wait to make our mark in it/them? Because we relish the challenge? Because our story built up inside and is busting its alien-baby way out, no matter what? Or because Hugh Howey raked in the bucks?

(Love you, Hugh, big hug!)

If it’s the last (which I don’t believe for a second, not you!), we should write dino porn instead. It may not be pretty, but it’s pretty lucrative. (What an unbelievably disgusting thing our society is. Which is fascinating, in itself. I can’t say I’m not curious, in a rubber-necking sort of way, as to what all the fuss is about. But I will not enrich the dino-pornographers with my hard-earned $$ just to gasp, cringe, giggle, and then feel guilty for giggling because it is, after all, a sneaky way to profit from rape fantasy. The feminist in me is too demoralized to be outraged, anymore.) 

Time to rewatch the Neil Gaiman commencement speech?

Too sweet? Too uplifting? (Too much of a push-up bra?) Then check out The Oatmeal’s take on Dino Porn. (Warning: it is not for the squeamish or for kids. I mean it.) 

Rest. Recuperate. Make Good Art. Rinse and Repeat.

Do the Morticia Dance. 

And do NaNoWriMo, or just make yourself a sandwich.

With relish.

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7 responses

  1. Healthy Monday eye-opener, Lindy 🙂 I was going to put that commencement speech up on my blog (too) by the way, hope you don’t mind…
    I think I could handle a nashostowrimo (national short story writing month). Easier to make good art that way, at least for me.

  2. Every January I think I’ll do NaNo that year. By summer, I figure I’ll write a good story. By Halloween I’m lucky if I can put out a grocery shopping list. This year, I’m determined to write the troll story! Wish me luck! 😉

  3. Hey I didn’t know you could just write a blip novel in a month! Sounds peachy 🙂
    Can we find out what the definition for “fear of catchy namomanwo type games” is? I’d like to know because I have it in spades.
    I think I covered a bit of this in my blog, but certainly I could recover it again (as I am want to do about anything my mouth grows foamy over… another thing I may need to know a definition for (medication purposes) ) during said garbage dump month.
    I dunno that any authors have written their best sellers on namormiwayay? If they have they suuuuuuuuuuure don’t advertise it.
    We all scream art but then status “I’ve written my first draft in three days and I’ll be done with the edits this weekend!”
    That is the BEST way to get me hissing and escaping back to my coffin…. With real books…

  4. I think I’ll just make that sandwich, if it’s all the same with you – with relish…and pesto – and some crunchy bread with seeds on top.

  5. I was sorta horrified by that pterodactyl song. But the singer was great.

  6. Satire is not pretty. You were warned.

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