The War of the Words… Has Begun!

First “misread” word of 2014:

Emma => enema.

First typo in 2014:

Updated => unpated.

Pretty sure I know what enema means.

Let’s say no more about it.

But what could “unpated” mean?

Since “pate” means the crown of the head, “unpated” must mean:

“One who has had the top of one’s head lopped off.”

I imagine it’s like cracking the top off a soft-boiled egg, in one deft thwack.

(If you’re thinking about “pâté” right now, don’t. Just… don’t.)

Let’s use “unpated” in a sentence, shall we? Perhaps in a hard-boiled detective novel. One which begins: “It was the best of crimes, it was the worst of crimes…” Here we go:

“The victim was unpated. Defenestrated.”

Now, let’s see what the Internet has to say about “unpated”:

• WordFind graciously provides an anagram: “unadept.” (Are they trying to tell me something?)
• Wiktionary kindly asks: “Do you mean ‘update’? (Yes, yes I do. And I should be getting on with it.)
• OmniiDict! chides: “The proper spelling of this word is “unpathed”.  (How dare they?! It’s presumptuous to imply I have no idea where I’m going with this! Correct, but presumptuous.)
• But YouTube — precious YouTube! — suggests I go to war over it. (Thus, the bullets.)

It’s going to be a fun war.

Happy reading and fighting!