Just signed the tax forms. Where it said “occupation,” I put “writer,” but only because THIS wouldn’t fit:

“I take those stupid fb tests, you know, the ones where you’re supposed to find out which ’80s action hero you are (John McClane), or which Harry Potter character you are (Hermione, duh!), or which famous writer is your soulmate, even though she’s dead and you’re not a lesbian (Virginia Woolf) or which kick-ass character you are from a TV series (RIVER SONG, alias Melody Pond.  I get to marry The Doctor, who, by the way, has also kissed me mum).”

You know what else wouldn’t fit under “Occupation”? This:

“I turn sentences around. That’s my life. I write a sentence and then I turn it around. Then I look at it and I turn it around again. Then I have lunch. Then I come back in and write another sentence. Then I have tea and turn the new sentence around. Then I read the two sentences over and turn them both around. Then I lie down on my sofa and think. Then I get up and throw them out and start from the beginning.” (Phillip Roth)

Or this: “I do the hokey pokey and I turn the words around…”
Or this. “Yes, I AM a writer! I didn’t say it pays…”
Or this: “Stop laughing, IRS guy! I said, Stop laughing!”

You know what would fit, though? “Hello, Sweetie!”


13 responses

  1. It’s the occupation at heart that matters.. right?

    1. You are quite correct. (Sweetie!)

  2. Hokey kokey (or is it ‘pokey’?)sounds good to me

  3. Reblogged this on John L. Monk and commented:

    1. Thanks for the reblog, John. XO

  4. Reblogged this on Logan Keys Fiction and commented:
    Brilliant.and turned around Tnaillirb

  5. OOPS! I have been reminded that River’s name was MELODY Pond, not Harmony, so I have fixed it.
    I have been time-travelling too long, and am possibly infected by nanites. 😦

  6. Tried to respond today and was told by wordpress that I wasn’t allowed to comment. Anyway, wanted to say my husband read this to me early a.m., laughing. That’s praise! Love you!

  7. Naughty WordPress! They must know I love you too by now!

  8. Gretchen Sackett | Reply

    Sister number two says your occupation should be “witty one with a side of sneer”. Hee! Hee! (that’s old folk for LOL!)–xoxo, Gretchen

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