Pub bans the word ‘So’ from beginning of sentences

I see a price list for offending words and phrases. “Personally” should cost a tenner. “In the fullness of time”? A lifetime ban.

The Evening Harold

so jar Sewing club has moved to a new venue.

A pub in Harold has banned customers from starting their sentences with the word ‘so’, in a crack-down on pseudo-scientific intellectualism.

On the bar of the Squirrel Lickers Arms a ‘So’ box now stands, replacing the well-rattled swears jar. And it’s already beginning to fill up, according to Eddie the landlord. He explained how he got the idea.

“So I noti…b****cks”, said Eddie, flipping a coin into the container. “I noticed a lot of people in here think they can sound all knowledgeable and reasonable, just by adding the offending word to the beginning of any old shite”, he explained.

“So I took the…oh for f***s sake…(*chink*)…I took the initiative and decided to fine people for their cod GCSE chemistry report cock-whiskery. I won’t have people in here turning the air litmus blue.”

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2 responses

  1. I fully endorse this idea. I work in the corporate world and I hear MANY sentences that begin with ‘So’.

  2. Just read a few more Evening Harold’s. Brilliant stuff…

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