Have you ever considered that there are some words you dislike, that irritate you, but you don’t know why?
I never did.
In fact, I found it amusing to know that some people can’t bear to hear the words “moist” or “panties”… even when they aren’t used in the same sentence as “grab ’em by the pussy”. But lately it’s occurred to me that there are some very useful words that I’ve come to hate.
And I know why.
Here are just a few of them:
bellicose, braggart, bully, liar, delusional, two-faced, greedy, slanderer
Think about it. Are there any words YOU hate, that you’d like to share?
You don’t have to say why.
Greetings from The Voice of Doom!
Remember the old story from Isaac Asimov?
I was once being interviewed by Barbara Walters… In between two of the segments she asked me… “But what would you do if the doctor gave you only six months to live?” I said, “Type faster.”
Well, then: You probably know all about these two good reasons to stay indoors and type faster:
Arctic lampreys falling from the sky, and
I mean, people, we already knew that when it blows, civilization as we know it will end. Now they say the new magma chamber they’ve found could fill the Grand Canyon 11 times! So what the world needs now is more Paranormal Romance! Chick Lit! YAAAAAAAAAA !!!!
The Voice of Doom wants more bad news, more reasons to type faster.
Just signed the tax forms. Where it said “occupation,” I put “writer,” but only because THIS wouldn’t fit:
“I take those stupid fb tests, you know, the ones where you’re supposed to find out which ’80s action hero you are (John McClane), or which Harry Potter character you are (Hermione, duh!), or which famous writer is your soulmate, even though she’s dead and you’re not a lesbian (Virginia Woolf) or which kick-ass character you are from a TV series (RIVER SONG, alias Melody Pond. I get to marry The Doctor, who, by the way, has also kissed me mum).”
You know what else wouldn’t fit under “Occupation”? This:
“I turn sentences around. That’s my life. I write a sentence and then I turn it around. Then I look at it and I turn it around again. Then I have lunch. Then I come back in and write another sentence. Then I have tea and turn the new sentence around. Then I read the two sentences over and turn them both around. Then I lie down on my sofa and think. Then I get up and throw them out and start from the beginning.” (Phillip Roth)
Or this: “I do the hokey pokey and I turn the words around…”
Or this. “Yes, I AM a writer! I didn’t say it pays…”
Or this: “Stop laughing, IRS guy! I said, Stop laughing!”
You know what would fit, though? “Hello, Sweetie!”